Dear DC Comics,
I'm writing in regards to the series of Watchmen prequels you have slated for release this year.
When you came up with this brilliant idea, did you stop to think about those of us who have over-caffeinated comic book geeks with borderline personality disorder for friends? Did you give a moment's consideration to the fact that our Facebook news feeds will be blowing up with their moral outrage the second these things hit the shelves?
I think I have the grounds for an infliction of emotional distress lawsuit, and possibly third-degree sexual assault as well. You'll be hearing from my lawyer shortly.